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Saturday, July 18th, 2009
rawkergirl
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1:31a
Be not solitary, be not idle.
My personality remained relatively stable from high school through the end of college, and I expected it to be a permanent fixture throughout my life. Half the time I was sulking around over some stupid boy, and the other half was filled with a complete exuberance for every mundane aspect of life, yet I was never lacking in energy under either circumstance. When I discovered the Enneagram, I was very comfortable defining myself as a Type 7. I recently took the test again, expecting it to tell me that I'd transformed into a more apathetic type of person, but I am apparently still a Type 7. There is something more familiar lurking under the surface, but it just takes more to bring it out these days (like sangria at noon on Haight). Have I built up a tolerance to life? I need to detox.
I have a slight urge to do things, but lack the drive. I want to sew all of my own clothes, and to sew clothes for others and sell them on Etsy. I want to figure out why I can't solder properly, and perhaps get a hotter torch so I can make jewelry. (Furthermore, I want ideas of what to make. Perhaps they will come with the motivation). I want to design my home. I want to flip a house like they do on TV. I'd love to build a piece of furniture too. I want to do something good. I want to help people who need it. I want to join the Peace Corps and live in a village in Africa. I want to save animals. I want to be a vet. Unfortunately, I would probably not be fit for this job due to emotional reasons. (I fainted when the vet told us about Penny's surgery. I could not hold myself together). I want more tattoos. I want a visual representation of the Kerouac quote, or a dopaminergic neuron, or a flying machine.
I don't know if I will actually do any of these things, as the lethargy and general disinterest in life are not such good motivators. Maybe I should start doing drugs again (or at least increase my alcohol consumption).
current mood:  apathetic
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Sunday, July 12th, 2009
__she_said
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6:59p
I got the $10 dollar unlimited rental for a week at Blockbuster and since friday I have not left my couch except to go to the river today and got sunburnt! I've watched... The Reader, An American Movie, Spring Breakdown, The Education of Charlie Banks and Good Time Max. what else is good that just came out?
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Friday, July 10th, 2009
Thursday, July 9th, 2009
Monday, July 6th, 2009
__she_said
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9:40p
theres something wrong with ester..
So a couple hours ago I went to one of my favorite places in the world..BIG SPOON YOGURT! It was filled with yuppies as usual so i sat in the parking lot and was eating my vanilla-butterscotch-mini reeses pieces- rainbow sprinkles meal when i noticed something..the T on yogurt is a religious cross! i am so pissed! first in-n-out and now this.
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